Category: Dating and Relationships
Hey all, what do you think are some factors to consider when you decide to move in with your partner? I know financial issues and personal background or education and family life applies to this area, but if you know any other things to consider besides these things, feel free to right it here. An another thing, how do you know if your both ready to move in together? Thanks
Why would education have anything to do with it? You mean dorming or something? Anyway, Spiros and I have been living together for a few months now. He originally moved in out of necessity (had to move out of his apartment cause another person was moving in) but we've been so happy together. Seriously, it was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Anyway, I'd say you've got to spend alot of time with someone at their place or them at your's, like on the weekends or something. That way, you can get used to his/her quirks. Being with someone occasionally is very different from actually living with them. You also need to be able to trust that the relationship is stable enough, not that you'll break up the next month and either you or your partner will be out on the street. If children or animals are n issue, you'll need to take that into consideration as well. Also, driving/traveling distance to and from work. I was afraid for awhile that Spiros couldn't stay cause of the traffic between NJ and NYC. Then, if both of you have really high sex drives, there's the possibility of fun and amazing times together but also a change in sleep pattern. lol
To me, the most important thing to consider is the level of your communication skills. Good communication between any roommates is important anyway, and I'd say that doubles when it's your partner. The ability to assert your own needs and wants, as well as to really listen to your partner's, will help it to be a smooth transition and good living arrangement.
*agrees with the last post. Good Communication is a must when you're going to be living together! Although in my opinion, I dont think you could ever be completely prepared for everything that comes with a relationship, a lot of it will have to be trial and error! However, if you are able to communicate well with your partner, and you have an idea of what they're like, outside of the relationship, it may be easier to make it, because then you're able to talk things over rationally. And trust is another thing. If there's no trust, it wont work! I've been there, done that!
Yeah, I agree with the last posters. Yeah, you both got to have good communication skills, and you got to spend a lot of time together before you go to that stage because you really get to know the person when you move in. Another thing, you got to have discipline as far as your budget goes and your errands around the house. Both should contribute. One person that keeps on doing all the work will eventually get tired of it. It has to be an equal effort. Another thing that can make it work is that you both have to have a job. Yes, its a good thing to move in when the relationship is stable but as you all know, "Love cannot pay the bills" As far as other expenses, talking about it with your partner will help you two negociate everything from budgeting the money to saving a little money for liesure activities. You got to remember to have balance. I hope that helps.
I don't think it's absolutely necessary that both of you have a job but you should have enough money so that living together won't cause you stress. Also, communication is key in everything.
I think that both of you have similar goals about money is a good thing. In terms of budgeting, the two of you should sit down and go over the budget so that both of you are in agreement.
Also, make sure you are on the same page with regards to children, finances, communication (agreeing isn't always necessary for every little thing, but respect MUST BE). The reason I say about children is that, well, if you are going to move in together, what's your ultimate goal? What happens if a baby results? You need to be on the same page.
CM
I definitely agree with previous posters about having good communication, budgeting, and considering other factors such as a potential family. however, I don't think that it is a good idea to move in with your significant other out of necessity because if something goes wrong with the relationship, then you're stuck. It's still a good idea to have a backup plan.
Hmmm! My thoughts exactly, but you have to make absolutely sure that's what both of you, not just you, not just your partner wants to do before finding a flat together, you have to love each other and really mean it, trust each other more than you trust probably anybody else, there's money matters to consider. I'm thinking as me and my bf are probably not very far off finding a flat together, we'll go halves with regards to phone bills, gas, water, electric, food, drink and anything else we need to get us through the weeks, the months, the years even, when we'll be fending for ourselves, both of us having lived with our parents since birth, so there's a first time for everything, for both of us in our case.
Its one hell of a huge step and no decisions of this nature should be taken lightly under any circumstances. I've just had to take the huge step myself of braking the bad news to mum that me and Kris want to move in together, no questions asked on her part, for I knew she wouldn't like it, but although we have only been going out two months as of Christmas day 2008, we already feel solid and whole, new people, ready to face whatever the world has to throw at us.
We kind of knew each other inside out even before we met, having spent whole days of 1 to 1 Skype calls and MSN conversations. We couldn't imagine being without each other now, so although things are moving so fast, both of us, not just me, not just Kris, feel that the time is right to find a flat. Even before we were introduced by a mutual friend on MSN, we had both set our sights on Nottingham for the place to be, owing to the excellent support for people like us, plus there was also a lot of volluntary and paid work going at the Royal Society for the blind there, so we're thinking, why not? whether others might think likewise or whether they think no, we should wait a bit longer well, to those against it, what the hell's it got to do with you? Its my life, it is Kris's life, its both our lives and nobody elses, thank you. Back on topic then, if you're ready, if you and your partner feel you're ready, I say, just go for it, go halves with anything and everything and just take your chances to be together.
Jen.
Oh my god I love how you said that.